“I have learned that success comes down to this: being appropriate in the moments of your life. If you can honestly say, “This is where I’m meant to be right now, doing exactly what I’m doing,” then all the amazing possibilities for your life become possible.”
– Gary Keller
There are some people who all they do is manage the chaos in their life.
They never seem to just enjoy life. They don’t allow themselves to really have fun, to take a break, to smell the roses and to just do nothing sometimes.
They say “Yes” too often when they need to say “NO” to commitments and requests from people who know that they can take advantage of them.
They take on too much.
They can’t stay focused. They’re all over the place.
They try to fill their lives up with stuff and things.
They’re always overwhelmed.
They never have time to do the things they really want to do.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a mom so I know how easily the role of chaos manage can apply to any mom but I also know how vital it is to not fall into that trap ALL THE TIME.
Of course most of us will find ourselves being chaos managers on occasion. But we don’t have to stay stuck there.
It’s okay to purge and do your Spring cleaning but if you are ALWAYS purging and organizing then you are a chaos manager and not a Cultivator.
Because once you start cultivating your life you stop hoarding, accumulating and buying shit you don’t need or love.
If you are ALWAYS doing the dishes, doing laundry, cleaning the house and picking up toys, then you are a chaos manager and not a Cultivator.
Cultivators either get some help or they learn to accept the chaos understanding that this is their current reality, that for now there are dishes, laundry, and cleaning to do, and toys to pick up especially if you have small children but that they can’t spend everyday all day doing those things because they have better things to do with their time like have lunch with their girlfriends, cultivate a passion, or start a business.
If you are ALWAYS taking on projects and commitments you can’t possibly give your best to or that you really don’t want to do but don’t know how to say “NO” then you are a chaos manager and not a Cultivator.
Because once you start cultivating your life you only take on projects you love or really want to do. You only commit to the things you have the bandwidth and ability to truly manage well.
If you NEVER have time for yourself, for your needs and wellbeing, for your dreams and aspirations, for the things you love to do then you are not being a Cultivator.
Because once you start cultivating your life you take care of yourself. You take time for yourself and you nurture your dreams and passions.
I’m not saying any of this is easy but it is so worth making the effort to cultivate your life and stop just managing the chaos.
This may even seem impossible if you are a mom who works full-time outside the home, which just means that you more than anyone need to find some breathing space to nurture yourself and your dreams.
Take baby steps and make it your mission to find a way to transition from chaos manager to Cultivator.
Here are two simple things you can start doing today to help with the transition.
Make the two-letter word “NO” your new mantra. Learn to say “NO” to everything that doesn’t light you up and that isn’t absolutely necessary for you to do.
And start saying “YES” to yourself. “Yes” to a Saturday morning pedicure. “Yes” to a Sunday afternoon nap. “Yes” to giving your kids cereal for dinner on occasion so you can work on your business plan. “Yes” to leaving the dishes in the sink tonight and letting your kids wear wrinkled clothes because you’d rather finish reading a book you started weeks ago instead of folding the laundry.
The point is it really comes down to a “YES” or “NO” – a “YES” to the things you really want and need to do and a “NO” as much as humanly possible to those things that drain and deplete you, that overwhelm you, and that simply aren’t that important in the big scheme of things.
You can cultivate a life you love. Just take it one step at a time or as I suggest, one “Yes” or “No” at a time.
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And of course…
Take care of You!