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How to Speak Your Truth (even when it’s not comfortable)

 

speak you truth

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” – Naomi Wolf

This post piggybacks off of the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago entitled, Will the REAL YOU Please Stand Up. Obviously this is an important topic and I have more to say about it, even if some of it is redundant I believe the big stuff bares repeating over and over. Right now I’m practicing being more authentic, showing up more fully and speaking my truth even when it’s uncomfortable, hence another post on truth.

I’m currently going through some challenges with someone close to me and I’m seeing more clearly how and why I’ve been stuck and unable to speak my own truth. We often get stuck on wanting to please or not upset other people so we say things that we think they want to hear or we say nothing at all instead of speaking the actual truth about how we feel and who we are.

But if you want real connection and genuine relationships you have to speak your truth.

Yeah, you may ruffle some feathers and of course not everyone will like your point of view, feedback, or new found commitment to your authenticity but they’ll get over it. Especially when they see that living and speaking one’s truth has far more benefits than coming from a less than authentic and real place.

One, there is an incredible amount of power and freedom is speaking one’s truth. And we all want to feel powerful and free to be who we are so why not claim that power and freedom by mustering up the courage to do something that is totally in your control – speak from your core. Yes it may not always be easy but you’ll feel so much more at ease once you say what is real for you and express your truest feelings and set boundaries for future interactions.

Two, speaking what is real for you will most likely bring you closer to the one’s you are sharing with and it also gives them permission to speak their truth, which really makes for a genuine connection and deeper relationship.

Thirdly, speaking your truth demonstrates integrity and those with integrity tend to have more genuine relationships with others who live in integrity. What a win-win for all concerned.

Last but not least, it’s your right to speak your truth. You owe it to yourself to say what is okay and not okay, to say yes when you feel a yes and no when you feel a no, to express what works and doesn’t work for you. This is about setting boundaries and requires that you use your voice and speak up for yourself.

Here are a few ways to help you be more real in your conversations and interactions with others close to you:

1. Set the right intention – Your intention should be to foster closeness and connection not to hurt someone’s feelings or prove you’re right about something. Set the intention to have compassion for both yourself and the person you’re sharing with and everything will be okay.

2. Know the difference between opinion and truth – Make sure that when speaking your truth you don’t confuse doing so with sharing your opinion, criticizing, or making a judgment because that is not what speaking your truth is about. It’s about being real, sharing your feelings and giving access to your heart. Your opinions and judgments are about being right, controlling and dominating which has nothing to do with one’s truth and authentic feelings.

3. Don’t try to manage other people’s feelings or reactions – You absolutely can’t control how other people are going to react to what you say. There may be some tension or conflict as a result of your openness but your job is to only come from a genuine and compassionate place and let the rest take care of itself.

This can be a scary thing to do on a consistent basis especially with those we’re closest to but with practice you will come to feel more comfortable with opening yourself up about what is real and true for you and you will one day find that living any other way is not an option. Your motto will be “take me or leave me” and those in your inner circle will be those who accept your truth as a genuine expression of you and all you value!

Next Steps:

1. Now it’s time to be a truth-teller and leave a comment below. Share a past experience in which you mustered up the courage to speak your truth or share something you’ve been holding back and need to express.

2. If you liked this post share it on facebook, twitter, google+, pinterest or email it to a friend.

3. Start courageously speaking your truth even when it’s uncomfortable. Trust me, you won’t die!

 

One person has commented
  1. oh you know says:

    tonight i have to muster up the courage to have a real adult conversation with my boyfriend. he is an incredible human being whom i love very much, but he has been depressed and unemployed in the last few months and has taken some of it out on me by not being there for me or treating me how i need to be treated. i haven’t wanted to kick him while he’s down, but as hard as it is, i really need to tell him exactly how i feel, or i am going to explode and just end the relationship. this blog was helpful by explaining to not cross over authentic feelings with opinions and judgement, and to set my intention of love and hope as opposed to being right.

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