“The first rule of tango is to listen to the music, any second it can change on you, you have to be ready to pivot and move in an entirely new direction.” –from television series, Royal Pains
My life has not at all gone according to plan (thank God). And yes I did have a plan. Sort of. My plan was to go to a great college. Graduate with a very useful degree that would guarantee me a high paying job. I would eventually venture into entrepreneurship and build a billion dollar empire. Yeah I have always dreamed BIG. I’d get married to the man of my dreams, we would have four kids and live happily ever after. I’m sure I’ve left some other details out but you get the picture. Despite this plan I found myself veering off the path of creating this fab life over and over again. I was getting more and more lost and searching for a way back on course as things did not work out according to my plans.
What I’ve come to realize is that my life was not suppose to unfold according to some predetermined plan that was deeply influenced by how others thought I should or could achieve success. I was pursuing a path that just wasn’t authentic and when I felt I should be doing something different I didn’t follow my gut, my intuition. I let others talk me out of the course or course changes I felt were right for me. I have learned over time to go with the flow, to trust my gut and to let a Higher Power guide the way according to a Divine Plan not mine.
I have learned that going with the flow is really about not having a plan or at least being flexible enough to change your course when life is nudging you in a different direction towards something more authentic.
Yes you have to trust the nudgings.
When you think about it, isn’t it true that life is always pushing us in a different direction than the course we planned out for ourselves? So why have a well laid out plan in the first place? Why not just take it one step at a time and let things unfold organically without a set agenda? Besides it’s when you become attached to a plan that everything changes anyway. Haven’t you noticed things never quite go the way you “planned” them particularly when you’re firmly attached to the outcome.
Of course many will say that you should have a plan because failing to plan is planning to fail. I disagree. I guarantee you most of the truly successful people you have heard about didn’t have it all figured out how they were going to achieve success. Many successes have come about by being in the right place at the right time, chance occurrences. Serendipity. According to Wikipedia, “Serendipity means a “happy accident” or “pleasant surprise”; a fortunate mistake. Specifically, the accident of finding something good or useful while not specifically searching for it.”
I’m not suggesting you just sit on your butt waiting for things to magically happen but I do suggest you figure out what you’re passionate about and follow that path wherever it may lead you. Be open to opportunities and experiences as they come calling, asking you to shift gears or go in a slightly different direction than you have planned out.
The bottom-line is your plan is flawed. Your vision isn’t flawed. But your plan is.
Trust me, the Universe has it all figured out. It knows your heart and dreams and has your back. You just do your part by being and staying authentic, taking inspired action as you go and let the Universe do the rest. Have your ideas and vision for what you want but keep an open mind and agenda. At the end of the day you’ll see that it all works out perfectly but certainly not according to your plan.
It certainly has worked out for me. I did go to a great college (Notre Dame). I did graduate with a useful Business degree in Finance. And then my plan goes way off course. I did not get that high paying job or build a billion dollar empire and have no desire to. I thought I married the man of my dreams but then I got divorced. I have two kids, not four. So much for my plan. But it indeed has all worked out. I wasn’t suppose to have this perfectly unfolding life according to my plan. The Divine Plan was for me to learn what I needed to learn which was the only plan I really needed was to pursue my authentic dreams and desires, to trust the nudgings of my heart and to take inspired action when the right opportunities come along.
This is exactly what we must do as moms who want and need more. Forget the plan that says you’re suppose to do this motherhood thing a certain way. That you’re suppose to stay home and raise the kids or that you’re suppose to go back to work once the kids are in school and pursue a practical career. No I say dump the reasonable, safe, practical plan and follow the urgings of your heart and soul. Be unreasonable. Ask yourself what do you really want to do next? Then just figure it out as you go trusting that where you need to go and what you need to do will reveal itself as you need to know.
I can tell you that I don’t have a plan all figured out. I have a bazillion ideas. I have a big vision. And I’m trusting a whole lot in the urgings of my heart and divine intuition to guide the next step. And I’m sure as hell not following someone else’s plan for my life.
Since I started living an unplanned life, it is indeed unfolding with greater ease and awesomeness. It is also authentic. It’s uncertain. It’s liberating. It’s scary as shit. It’s full of wonderful surprises. And it’s forcing me to be courageous, to live in the moment and to be open to the endless possibilities all leading to my ultimate success, joy and fulfillment.
What plans do you need to ditch? What do you really want to do but don’t have a clue as to how to pursue it? Well the good news is, you don’t have to know the how. You just need to say YES! to it and take the first step. The rest will unfold as you go.
Please share your comments and insights below and if you liked this post please share it with your friends. Finally I encourage you to sign up below for free weekly updates and you’ll receive a very special guide on practicing living in your flow.
With Love + Gratitude,