The Mentoring Relationship

“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.” – John C. Crosby

“A mentor empowers a person to see a possible future, and believe it can be obtained.” – Shawn Hitchcock

According to Matt M. Starcevich, Ph.D. of The Center for Coaching & Mentoring, “Mentoring is a power free, two-way mutually beneficial relationship where the mentor provides advice, shares knowledge and experiences, and teaches using a low pressure, self-discovery approach. Teaching using an adult learning versus teacher to student model and, being willing to not just question for self discovery but also freely sharing their own experiences and skills with the partner. The mentor is both a source of information/ knowledge and a Socratic questioner.”

Mentors are not therapists, counselors, consultants or even life coaches. Mentors are advisors, “facilitators and teachers who allow the partner to discover their own direction.”

In fact, the main responsibility of a mentor is to advise and educate and to support the partner in navigating life on their terms and help them gain the confidence to take the inspired and authentic action that is in the partners best interest.

The mentor need not be an all-knowing expert, instead the mentor must simply guide the partner on the journey of seeking and living their truth and discovering the answers to the powerful questions we must all ask ourselves if we truly want to live authentic, fulfilling and joyful lives.

Many confuse mentoring with coaching. Coaching tends to focus on changing a specific behavior, transforming one area of life, or achieving a specific objective. Mentoring focuses on the whole person, changing mindsets and overall personal transformation. Coaching supports you in learning a new skill and/or completing a task. Mentoring supports you in designing and cultivating your life. Coaching is performance driven. Mentoring is development driven. Coaches tend to be experts in a particular area (career or business, money, wellness, relationships, etc). Aside from career or business mentors, Mentors tend to be generalists with strong interpersonal skills who hold a safe space for the self-discovery process.

Coaches are typically certified in a particular coaching method and/or area of expertise. Mentors are not necessarily trained in a particular coaching style but rather rely on personal strengths and interpersonal skills as well as life experience and personal philosophies to guide and support the partner/client.

Contrary to popular assumptions, engaging a mentor is not just for those seeking advice and guidance to advance their professional lives and careers. Mentors can and should be engaged for support and guidance to advance one’s life in all areas.

Mentoring itself is about evolution – learning, elevation, personal growth and professional development. It is for those who want to proactively develop and cultivate themselves. It has a ripple effect because one’s growth and development influences and inspires others, therefore, mentoring advances all of us to new levels as human beings.

My Role as a Life Design + Cultivation Mentor is to:

  • Ask the powerful questions and hold space for you to investigate your deepest inner truths and figure out what you really want and need.
  • Help you discover your inner voice and learn to trust your own divine wisdom to guide your life.
  • Act as a sounding board and guide but allow you to discover your own path and choose which way to go.
  • Create a sacred space and container of safety and support for you to be seen and heard, where you can authentically show up and courageously embrace your vulnerability.
  • Guide you in the process of self-discovery, designing your life, course-correction, and cultivating more of what you really want.
  • Advise and educate you on the most effective tools and strategies for self-discovery and transformation.
  • Help you tap into your hidden wells of strength and courage so that you can move out of your comfort zone and take powerful, inspired and authentic action.
  • Help you see the possibilities for your life and stay accountable to your intentions.
  • Support you when you attempt to fulfill a new intention, chart a new course or pursue your Next Big Act.
  • Help you overcome your resistance and feelings of being stuck as you find the inner freedom to pursue your heart’s desires and live on your terms.

Your Role as a Partner/Mentee will be to:

  • Take responsibility for your own growth and transformation and commit to doing the hard work and showing up to take focused and powerful action.
  • Do your work which entails reading the books, doing the exercises, making significant changes in your life, trying new things, forming new habits, spending time reflecting as a seeker of your own personal truth and taking meaningful ACTION.
  • Invest your time, energy and financial resources in your personal development and to further the pursuit of your dreams, desires, and your BIG Beautiful Life.
  • Be willing to change and release your beliefs and patterns if they do not serve you anymore.
  • Take inspired and authentic action and be willing to move beyond your comfort zone and face your fears.

Please contact me at nicole@nicolewolf.com if you have questions about the mentoring relationship or the roles of the mentor and mentee.